HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TEACHER?

by Jeff Foxworthy


1. You can hear 25 voices behind you and know
exactly which one belongs to the child out of line.

2. You get a secret thrill out of laminating
something.

3. You walk into a store and hear the words "It's
Ms? ??Mr. _________"?? ?and know you have been
spotted.

4. You have 25 people that accidentally call you
Mom/Dad at one time or another.

5. You can eat a multi-course meal in under
twenty-five minutes.

6. You've trained yourself to go to the bathroom
at two distinct times of the day: lunch and prep
period.

7. You start saving other people's trash, because
most likely, you can use that toilet paper tube or
plastic butter tub for something in the classroom.

8. You believe the teachers' lounge should be
equipped with a margarita machine.

9. You want to slap the next person who says "Must
be nice to work 7 to 3 and have summers off."

10. You believe chocolate is a food group.

11. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever
looking outside.

12. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall
you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow
today."

13. You feel the urge to talk to strange children
and correct their behavior when you are out in public.

14. You believe in aerial spraying of Ritalin.

15. You think caffeine should be available in
intravenous form.

16. You spend more money on school stuff than you do
on your own children.

17. You can't pass the school supply aisle without
getting at least five items!

18. You ask your friends if the left hand turn he
just made was a "good choice or a bad choice."

19. You find true beauty in a can full of perfectly
sharpened pencils.

20. You are secretly addicted to hand sanitizer.


21. You understand instantaneously why a
child behaves a certain way after meeting his or her
parents.